So.
There's this app called Mutual. It's for LDS singles to meet other singles. Pretty much a Mormon Tinder, but...not a hook-up place.
Well I guess it could be a hookup place, but usually in church they discourage such behavior...so out of potential social ostracizing and ridicule, hookups don't usually happen.
At least not in my experience.
Actually, in my experience, you end up going on dates with cool guys.
One guy in particular.
We've been on two dates so far and planning on going on a third tonight.
I'm totally not excited at all.
So I think that's where I'll start. Overthinking and overanalyzing relationships.
If there's anything I'm really good at, it's those things. When I was a teenager, it was a lot worse. It looked a ton like a guy passing me in the hallway on my way to choir, saying, "Hey, Alyssa!" and my brain automatically thinking, "oh my goodness he's really cute...does he like me? I mean, he smiled when he said my name, so that means something, right? Or maybe he's just being nice... nah, he might actually like me! A cute and not creepy guy actually likes me!"
It took me a little while to realize that I was probably just as creepy as those creepy guys were to me. I overthought everything, creating relationships and drama in places where it really didn't exist. It got a little better in college; I finally got my first kiss (which was shortly followed by getting caught by temple security and my date having a panic attack...I might tell that story another time), my first legit boyfriend (with whom I ended up breaking up after four weeks due to long-distance, a waning interest in him, and immaturity on both sides), and the first person I fell in love with (who ended up breaking thing off with me after a month and a half of officially dating and got engaged to someone else three months later).
Then I decided to take a break from overthinking and go on an LDS mission. God decided to banish me to Outer Mongolia. I'm pretty sure one of the reasons was so that I couldn't overthink relationships that were happening 6,000 miles away. Don't get me wrong, I still had a rollercoaster of drama and relationship struggles, but I got better at it. I learned I don't have to be in control of everything that's happening, and to just let things roll out.
Back to after the mish. I'm older, wiser, and think I can take on the world now with my new tools. I adjust fairly quickly (especially after my best friend and I talk about her bridal shower and what kind of lingerie she wants from me), get back into the groove of work, school, and...boys.
Oh, the boys.
I can now flirt without being creepy. I can hold a conversation with a guy without overthinking and overanalyzing (thanks to the countless conversations with Elders and waving weird stuff they say as them just being weird). I am a girl in remission.
And I still have slight relapses, like the time I was sitting so close to a guy I liked that our arms were touching and the only thought I had in my head while we were listening to a speaker was, "holy cow we're touching arms, I don't even think this is even legal, is it??!! Wait...I'm not a missionary anymore. This is okay. Calm down, 'Lyss."
Or the time two hours later when I dared flirt with said guy and panicked because I thought I was taking things too quickly for him and started fretting over what he was thinking...when there really was nothing to freak out about.
I call it a glitch. I'm getting better at fixing those glitches, though, and they're getting fewer and more far between.
And now I'm going on a third date with said guy.
So whatever I'm doing, regardless of what I'm thinking, I guess it's starting to work out. I just need to stop jumping ahead of myself and let myself roll with the present moments.
There's this app called Mutual. It's for LDS singles to meet other singles. Pretty much a Mormon Tinder, but...not a hook-up place.
Well I guess it could be a hookup place, but usually in church they discourage such behavior...so out of potential social ostracizing and ridicule, hookups don't usually happen.
At least not in my experience.
Actually, in my experience, you end up going on dates with cool guys.
One guy in particular.
We've been on two dates so far and planning on going on a third tonight.
I'm totally not excited at all.
So I think that's where I'll start. Overthinking and overanalyzing relationships.
If there's anything I'm really good at, it's those things. When I was a teenager, it was a lot worse. It looked a ton like a guy passing me in the hallway on my way to choir, saying, "Hey, Alyssa!" and my brain automatically thinking, "oh my goodness he's really cute...does he like me? I mean, he smiled when he said my name, so that means something, right? Or maybe he's just being nice... nah, he might actually like me! A cute and not creepy guy actually likes me!"
It took me a little while to realize that I was probably just as creepy as those creepy guys were to me. I overthought everything, creating relationships and drama in places where it really didn't exist. It got a little better in college; I finally got my first kiss (which was shortly followed by getting caught by temple security and my date having a panic attack...I might tell that story another time), my first legit boyfriend (with whom I ended up breaking up after four weeks due to long-distance, a waning interest in him, and immaturity on both sides), and the first person I fell in love with (who ended up breaking thing off with me after a month and a half of officially dating and got engaged to someone else three months later).
Then I decided to take a break from overthinking and go on an LDS mission. God decided to banish me to Outer Mongolia. I'm pretty sure one of the reasons was so that I couldn't overthink relationships that were happening 6,000 miles away. Don't get me wrong, I still had a rollercoaster of drama and relationship struggles, but I got better at it. I learned I don't have to be in control of everything that's happening, and to just let things roll out.
Back to after the mish. I'm older, wiser, and think I can take on the world now with my new tools. I adjust fairly quickly (especially after my best friend and I talk about her bridal shower and what kind of lingerie she wants from me), get back into the groove of work, school, and...boys.
Oh, the boys.
I can now flirt without being creepy. I can hold a conversation with a guy without overthinking and overanalyzing (thanks to the countless conversations with Elders and waving weird stuff they say as them just being weird). I am a girl in remission.
And I still have slight relapses, like the time I was sitting so close to a guy I liked that our arms were touching and the only thought I had in my head while we were listening to a speaker was, "holy cow we're touching arms, I don't even think this is even legal, is it??!! Wait...I'm not a missionary anymore. This is okay. Calm down, 'Lyss."
Or the time two hours later when I dared flirt with said guy and panicked because I thought I was taking things too quickly for him and started fretting over what he was thinking...when there really was nothing to freak out about.
I call it a glitch. I'm getting better at fixing those glitches, though, and they're getting fewer and more far between.
And now I'm going on a third date with said guy.
So whatever I'm doing, regardless of what I'm thinking, I guess it's starting to work out. I just need to stop jumping ahead of myself and let myself roll with the present moments.
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