I hate it when people are trying to memorize your name and not care about who you actually are.
You know.
The, "I'm trying to memorize everyone's names in the (class, group, choir, ward, whatever else here), so what's yours?"
It's super impersonal. Superficial.
And I hate superficiality. The whole, "using someone as a means to an end" thing usually just doesn't fly with me.
So you'll understand when I slowly get more and more annoyed after person number 47 comes up to me and says expectantly and fake-cheerfully, "So I don't think I know your name!"
The most recent encounter with this was last Tuesday.
There I was, sitting in my seat, waiting for choir to start, and innocently eating my peanut M&Ms that I got from the vending machine.
That's all I wanted to do. Eat my peanut M&Ms in peace.
Then she came up. She gave me that superficial line.
I didn't even turn around. I just raised my hand (she said it to the three of us in the row ahead of her) and monotonously said, "Alyssa."
Her: Oh okay, cool!
Me: *eats another peanut M&M*
Her: ...
Her: ...
Her: My name's Kat.
Me: ...
Me: Cool.
Me: *eats another peanut M&M*
Her: *awkwardly goes back to her seat*
...
Needless to say, I was really enjoying my peanut M&Ms and was getting real tired of others using my name as a means to an end. I hoped that was the last one for a while.
Not five minutes later, my hope bubble was popped.
This random guy comes in, acting all chummy, sits down in front of me, points at my row of beautiful altos, and says, "So, I don't think I know your names."
I had to try really hard not to sigh in exasperation or roll my eyes.
He tried again, "I see your beautiful faces from across the choir, and I thought it'd be nice to put a name to those faces I get to stare at during rehearsal."
I was really proud of my stone face I was making. I ate my last peanut M&M.
The girls on the side of me started stating their names. I nodded and said, "Alyssa."
I don't quite remember how he did it, but somehow he started asking about if we were studying at school or working, and if so what major or where we work and such, and he got to me.
I stared at him. "Communications."
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Patience?"
I had to try really hard to not laugh. I looked at him with a slightest hint of a smile and said, "Yeah. I'm practicing it right now."
The others found it funny. The joke was on them, though, because they didn't know how serious I actually was at that moment.
But then I got to thinking. Patience is something I've had to work on for a very long time.
I'm a fairly impulsive individual. I make up my mind quickly and act on it as soon as I can. This...can get me into trouble sometimes, because sometimes the first choice I make isn't the better one. I need to take my time and think about what I'm doing for a bit. There was a guy called Bishop Waddell who came and spoke to our LDS Institute at a devotional on Friday, and he emphasized that the important answers from the Spirit need time to come. He emphasized the importance of pondering.
I realize I need to do that more...with my choices in education, in dating, and in everyday life. I've got to wait and listen, and then the answers will come.
One might say I've gotta be patient.
Good thing I'm majoring in patience.
You know.
The, "I'm trying to memorize everyone's names in the (class, group, choir, ward, whatever else here), so what's yours?"
It's super impersonal. Superficial.
And I hate superficiality. The whole, "using someone as a means to an end" thing usually just doesn't fly with me.
So you'll understand when I slowly get more and more annoyed after person number 47 comes up to me and says expectantly and fake-cheerfully, "So I don't think I know your name!"
The most recent encounter with this was last Tuesday.
There I was, sitting in my seat, waiting for choir to start, and innocently eating my peanut M&Ms that I got from the vending machine.
That's all I wanted to do. Eat my peanut M&Ms in peace.
Then she came up. She gave me that superficial line.
I didn't even turn around. I just raised my hand (she said it to the three of us in the row ahead of her) and monotonously said, "Alyssa."
Her: Oh okay, cool!
Me: *eats another peanut M&M*
Her: ...
Her: ...
Her: My name's Kat.
Me: ...
Me: Cool.
Me: *eats another peanut M&M*
Her: *awkwardly goes back to her seat*
...
Needless to say, I was really enjoying my peanut M&Ms and was getting real tired of others using my name as a means to an end. I hoped that was the last one for a while.
Not five minutes later, my hope bubble was popped.
This random guy comes in, acting all chummy, sits down in front of me, points at my row of beautiful altos, and says, "So, I don't think I know your names."
I had to try really hard not to sigh in exasperation or roll my eyes.
He tried again, "I see your beautiful faces from across the choir, and I thought it'd be nice to put a name to those faces I get to stare at during rehearsal."
I was really proud of my stone face I was making. I ate my last peanut M&M.
The girls on the side of me started stating their names. I nodded and said, "Alyssa."
I don't quite remember how he did it, but somehow he started asking about if we were studying at school or working, and if so what major or where we work and such, and he got to me.
I stared at him. "Communications."
He raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Patience?"
I had to try really hard to not laugh. I looked at him with a slightest hint of a smile and said, "Yeah. I'm practicing it right now."
The others found it funny. The joke was on them, though, because they didn't know how serious I actually was at that moment.
But then I got to thinking. Patience is something I've had to work on for a very long time.
I'm a fairly impulsive individual. I make up my mind quickly and act on it as soon as I can. This...can get me into trouble sometimes, because sometimes the first choice I make isn't the better one. I need to take my time and think about what I'm doing for a bit. There was a guy called Bishop Waddell who came and spoke to our LDS Institute at a devotional on Friday, and he emphasized that the important answers from the Spirit need time to come. He emphasized the importance of pondering.
I realize I need to do that more...with my choices in education, in dating, and in everyday life. I've got to wait and listen, and then the answers will come.
One might say I've gotta be patient.
Good thing I'm majoring in patience.
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